Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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