Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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