i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
