what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
