can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
