Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
