You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
