He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
