Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
