I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
