from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
