I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
