its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
