2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
being pregnant is like rehab
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
BRING THE BAGELS
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
