She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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