she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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