the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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