ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
time to smoke my breakfast
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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