I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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