Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
