best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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