There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
