I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
