I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
