Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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