i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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