What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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