Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
