just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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