I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
