Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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