White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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