Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
