First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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