This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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