I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
