There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
