But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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