Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
