Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
