did you get engaged???
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
