Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
