No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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