just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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