is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
