eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
