what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
