But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize