We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
