I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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